and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
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i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
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at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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