We won't sleep together?
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".