I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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