so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
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I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
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I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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