My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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