just survived the first fart of the relationship.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Randomize
