i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
