At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
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my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
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That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem