I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Tumblr User Tells Story About A ‘Demon Gets Adopted By A Grandma’& It Needs To Be A F**king Movie
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
20+ Kids Who Probably Didn’t Mean To Draw Hardcore Porn
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser