idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES