hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.