my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
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just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
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No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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