Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
