he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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