i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize
