glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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