I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
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In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
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I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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