Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
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