the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Randomize