i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
