omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize