Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
we're so committed to being not committed
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I'm always down for nudity.
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