he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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