I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
