I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Randomize