okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
whose parrot is this?
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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