D3 body, D1 cock
your room smells of hookers.
And success
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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