5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
I am midnight drunk by noon
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only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Randomize