can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
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He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
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Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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