...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Randomize
