Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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