Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
