I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
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I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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