Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize