I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
