You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
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Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
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Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.