you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I spit up blood this morning
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
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it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
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In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.