Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
