tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
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Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
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You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
My bed smells like the plague
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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