i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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