At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Where are you guys?
Drunk
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
