Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize