There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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