Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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