I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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