big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
