I'm lost and stupid without you.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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