there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
