My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
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you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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