Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
vagina is talking i cant
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Randomize
