But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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