the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize