There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
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