So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
